Surrendering My Dreams

I’ve been spending a lot of time lately, pondering a lifetime of unfulfilled dreams. I had dreams for years but they haven’t panned out…at all.  I have dreamed of being deeply involved in performing arts (music, theater).  I’ve dreamed of leadership in women’s ministry. I’ve dreamed of being a great evangelist, a writer, dynamic speaker with great influence. Don’t misunderstand.  I want to use the gifts I have been given for Kingdom purposes. I want to leave a legacy.  I want to be used by God to the fullest. He gave me my gifts and talents and I don’t want to waste them.  I don’t want to be a bench warmer on Sunday mornings.  I want to use my voice to lead worship or use my talent in theater to create skits.  I dream of conferences for women that would help them to find healing in a broken world.  God has blessed me with abilities.  I have a degree in leadership.  But, I find that I am going nowhere fast with these things and I get discouraged.

I’ve been listening to a song called Surrender by Barlow Girl. It’s about letting go of our dreams that we think define us and surrendering them to God, and how difficult it is to let them go. I spent so many years of my life dreaming and I’ve spent a lot of it watching from the sidelines in great envy as others have lived out the dreams I had for me…even dreams I thought God had for me. But, none of these dreams have come to fruition and as time sifts away, It doesn’t look like they will. So I wonder, were those dreams not from God? Or, were they? If I’m letting go of the dreams I thought He gave me…and He did…then should I give up? Yes! I still need to surrender to Him and trust Him with my dreams. His plans for me will not be forsaken. Whatever they are – my health problems, lack of popularity, lack of ability to get others to catch a vision, lack of influence…these things will not stop God’s plans. My weaknesses are not an issue for Him! In fact, it is in my weakness that He is most glorified. I must let go. I must surrender…even though my heart cries, “but, my dreams are me”!

Oswald Chambers on Depression

My devotion today was so powerful that I wanted to share it here. It’s from the book “His Utmost Highest” by Oswald Chambers…..

 Taking the Initiative Against Depression
“Arise and eat.” 1 Kings 19:5

“The angel in this passage did not give Elijah a vision, or explain the Scriptures to him, or do anything remarkable. He simply told Elijah to do a very ordinary thing, that is, to get up and eat. If we were never depressed, we would not be alive – only material things don’t suffer depression. If human beings were not capable of depression, we would have no capacity for happiness and exaltation. There are things in life that are designed to depress us; for example, things that are associated with death. Whenever you examine yourself, always take into account your capacity for depression.

When the Spirit of God comes to us, He does not give us glorious visions, but He tells us to do the most ordinary things imaginable. Depression tends to turn us away from the everyday things of God’s creation. But whenever God steps in, His inspiration is to do the most natural, simple things – things we would never have imagined God was in, but as we do them we find Him there. The inspiration that comes to us in this way is an initiative against depression. But we must take the first step and do it in the inspiration of God. If, however, we do something simply to overcome our depression, we will only deepen it. But when the Spirit of God leads us instinctively to do something, the moment we do it the depression is gone. As soon as we arise and obey, we enter a higher plane of life.”

Valentine’s Day

Yesterday was Valentine’s Day. I must say, it was one for the books for me! I praise God for His redeeming love! I thank Him for giving me a new start with a wonderful husband who understands about love. I am thankful for what He taught me about love from nearly a decade after my divorce when I was a single again mom with children.

Valentine’s Day brings about either heartache or heartbreak for many and for some, both. So much focus is placed on the secular worldview of love. It’s a very shallow and false picture that can cause extreme emotions from great joy to devastating sorrow. However, secular society paints a fairy tale love based on feelings which sets up such unrealistic expectations. It is these expectations that have been at the root of devastation, bitterness, jealousy, divorce, suicide and even murder.

Secular society teaches us that love is all about romance and happy endings.  But, here is what the Bible has to say in 1 Corinthians 13:

“If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2 If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3 If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

8 Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9 For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10 but when completeness comes,what is in part disappears. 11 When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12 For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.

13 And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.”

1 John 4:7 says, “Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God.”

If you do not know God (born again believer committed in a relationship with God), then you can’t even understand nor experience real love in the biblical sense of the word (Truth in other words).  This is not my opinion or my interpretation.  This is what God, the very essence and source of all love, says.

According to Matthew 5:44, love requires sacrifice. It’s about putting the needs of others above your own. When love is happening, it does not need to be spoken of to be known.  Love is action. It’s easy to say, “I love you” but the proof is in the pudding. Love is something you do.  It is not an emotion.

Since we are talking about Valentine’s Day, lets talk about the spouse who doesn’t care to celebrate this day even though his wife waits longingly for flowers or a nice romantic evening out.  Year after year, the day comes and goes along with the hope of feeling like that spouse will never think enough of his wife to sacrifice his personal feelings and make the day special for her.  He tells her he loves her.  He pays the bills.  That should be enough right?  No.  It could go either way. It may be the wife neglecting to lay down her personal preferences for that of her husband. Regardless, if one person in the marriage values celebrating their relationship on this day, then true love would cause the other person to step out of his/her comfort zone and put the needs of the other spouse above his/her own.  Personal sacrifice…that demonstrates love.

This is not a post to pick on the spouse who is too self centered to make Valentine’s Day or any other day special for the spouse who looks forward to it.  It is my desire to see this post reach into the hearts of those who are not currently in committed relationships, mainly those who are Christians, but also to those who are not (if it applies).

Before committing in a relationship, you must first seek to have a mature understanding of what love is according to God’s Word and there is no greater explanation than this….

For God so loved [your name] that He sent His one and only Son, that WHO SO EVER believes in Him will not perish but have everlasting life. John 3:16 

God sacrificed His most beloved because His love is so great and so perfect. It is the example He set for us.  He laid down His life for His enemies (you and me).  God made His perfect, holy Son, a sacrifice for mankind.

“No greater love has any man than this, that he should lay down his life for a friend.” – John 15:13.  How much greater should that sacrifice be for a spouse?

So many people have tried to explain love in so many ways.  If you really want to know what love is, it’s all through the pages of the Bible and it’s all about personal sacrifice.  It’s what you do.  It’s what you give.  This is what allows you to experience love.  You don’t have to receive it back from those you give it to.  The idea is to give it and it will be returned in one form or another.  But don’t give with the intent to receive…just give and give freely.  Love is not selfish.

If you want to experience “romance”, then try taking a walk with God and notice the beauty around you.  Listen to birds, watch the sun go down,  or stargaze. Listen to the waves lapping the shoreline or the ocean waves crashing. Don’t wait for somebody to send you flowers.  Take a walk with the Creator and let Him show you what He has created for you.  Smell His roses, after all, nobody would have them if He didn’t give them life.  He created them for your pleasure!  Listen to the birds..and watch them.  There is no man who can hang the moon or stars or make a beautiful sunset sky. There is no man more romantic than  God.  He gives us these beautiful gifts and so much more.  Yet, we take these things for granted and all to often don’t even notice. Still, He gives them to us every day.  There truly is no love that is greater and it truly is more than enough.  If you think there is something else you need more, then perhaps you should wait a while longer before committing to a relationship. He really is more than enough!  He really does understand love and offers it to you in it’s purest form like no other man can even come close to.  Accept His gift of Love…the greatest gift of all, Jesus Christ.

You cannot have success in any relationship if you cannot be satisfied first with the most perfect love of all, God’s. This is something I have had to learn myself, so I am not speaking as somebody who has not been there.  The only time I am satisfied in any relationship is when I am satisfied in my relationship with God first

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Sanctification – Counting the Cost

I have had such a hard life in so many ways. Sometimes in moments of weakness, I ask God, “Why? Why does everything seem to go smooth for some Christians and others just have one tragedy after another?” I read my devotion that tells me that sanctification comes with great sacrifice. Then I think that I don’t have what it takes because I just don’t want to sacrifice anymore. I have this attitude because I am thinking with my head and not according to what God says in His word.  I am not focusing on the Kingdom as Christ did and commands me to do (see Matthew 6: 17-34). He sacrificed everything for those who were doomed to eternity in Hell – for me.

http://ebachan.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/03/jesus-on-the-cross.jpg

Jesus was not popular. From what I have read, He was pretty much a nobody until the last few years of his life. He was constantly under scrutiny and criticism then ultimately rejected by the very people who claimed to love Him the most. If that price was not too much for the Son of God, then it should not be too much for me, yet I tell God, “No more. I can’t take anymore!”. That is because I am seeing life through my own eyes and I have not put on the mind of Christ that 1 Corinthians 2: 13-16 speaks of. The same Holy Spirit in Christ is in me. I have to trust in this Spirit of the Lord with all my heart and lean not to my own understanding (Proverbs 3:5-6), but I don’t want to because if He has to make me strong, that indicates a reason I will need that strength. It grips me with fear and trembling because I know the power of God and following Him with all my heart is going to be painful. But, not following Him with all my heart comes with a much greater price.

I have nothing to fear but God Himself. Not being willing to sacrifice will hurt much more in the long run.  I must be willing to lay down my very life (John 15:13).  The reward is far greater than the sacrifice (2 Corinthians 2:9).  But, am I willing?  Am I ready?  I wish that I could say a resounding “Yes!”  But,  I’m not sure I can.  I fear the cost…and this kind of fear, I know, is not from God, it’s a lack of trust in Him (1 Timothy 1:7).

http://www.4catholiceducators.com/proverbs_3_5-poster.htm

Lord, before I can be willing to sacrifice, I need your help.  I need You to take my fear and help me to trust You and that no matter what comes, I will be strong and I can have peace in knowing that persecution, trials and suffering are the purifying fires which sanctify. They make me more able to love You and others unconditionally and wholeheartedly as you have commanded in Mark 12:30-31. Without the pain of loss, I can not know how much there is to gain. I need You because it is only through You that I can have the strength stand. I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. This is Your promise in Philippians 4:13.  I must trust You.  I must trust in Your promises. There is nothing greater to trust in.