Let’s Get Real – Part 2

So, if I stopped attending church services, does that mean I would be forsaking the fellowship with other believers? Absolutely not! Don’t be deceived into believing this.  Am I saying everyone should stop attending church services?  Absolutely not.  I am just saying that they are not necessary in order to fellowship and grow together with others in Christ. These are rules men have made. The greatest fellowship I have ever had with other believers has rarely occurred inside the walls of a church building.  The church is not a building. It is not a service.  It is not music.  It is not programs. It’s not the order of service.  It is not the ministries that are offered.  The church is the body of believers working as one body, taking action in the battle for the salvation of lost souls. She is led in battle by the Holy Spirit of God who has all power and victory.

Being the church means doing whatever it takes. It’s risking discomfort, ridicule, rejection, judgement, and more to win souls to Christ. It’s not about “doing” activities as much as it’s about building one on one relationships with those who may not be so much like you.  (In fact, too much activity may be more harmful than helpful in the mission of “the church”, but that’s another blog).  It’s about presenting Christ in such a way that the blind will see, the deaf will hear and the dumb will speak.  This is not done by control, force, manipulation, judgement, guilt trip, threats or finger pointing.  It is through love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control.  I emphasize kindness and gentleness because that is something that I have experienced a lack of in my personal encounters with “church people” who are willing to tell others how they need to live and change but are unwilling to accept them and love where they are (maybe because they have yet to truly embrace the real definition of love as God has given in  1 Corinthians 13). I have been on both sides of this fence.

There an exodus from traditional church membership taking place in the current generation. I have read so many articles as to why this is happening.  Personally, I believe that the Holy Spirit is the instigator of the whole thing.  There are so many theories in the articles I have read, but the most common thing that I see is the addiction to tradition and giving an appearance of having it altogether.  This is personal for me because I have been struggling in this area myself.  We have been wearing masks for so long that we don’t even recognize that we wear them.  We have no clue what it means to take them off or how.  We don’t even know what that looks like!

I have been participating in the tradition of “church” for more than 30 years.  I tried so hard to keep up with the expectations, dress right, talk right, look right, act right.  I have seen the pendulum swing from materialism to intellectualism to emotionalism, to down right lunacy!  

I have met some wonderful Christian men and women in the traditional church setting who have been tools in the hands of God.  They don’t pretend to have it together.  They don’t usually run with the “popular” crowd.  They don’t fake humility, they are the example. They don’t seek accolades but freely give them.  They aren’t out to make a name for themselves or to fit in. They are out to make Christ’s name famous and to be different (a peculiar bunch I dare say).  I wish I could say that I have been one of those people but I haven’t. However, that is definitely changing!

I have been a traditional Christian for many years. I have sought to fit in but have never been able to do so (I understand now that it was by Divine grace).  I have put on a mask and said and did everything I thought was expected of me to belong.  Having been an object of ridicule and rejection for most of my life, I fought so hard to prevent that and to be accepted.  (I thought that going to church was the one place where I never had to worry about bullies.  Well, sadly, they are in church too. They just do it with a Bible in hand.)  But, no matter how much I grew in my walk with God, and no matter how much I crossed the t’s and dotted the i’s – I never measured up.  I have always felt like a target for criticism and I was my worst critic! What I didn’t realize is that I set myself up for it.

By not being real, I buried my insecurities, wounds, and pain.  They did not go away although I tried to convince myself and others that they had. In fact, they just kept getting worse the more I tried to hide them.  But, every time I was taken aside by another believer and given a laundry list of things about me I needed to fix, however I thought God had changed me and had grown me, that laundry list just pushed me from a place of victory back into defeated position.  Because there was so much messed up that I just refused to deal with in order to fit, (and you have to appear to have it altogether to fit), every item on that list just piled on top of those that were already hidden behind the fake smile on my face. Now, I see it happening to others and well, I think I need to put on my big girl pants and stop submitting to the authority of those who are hurting people and start standing up in the authority of God to defend them – no matter the cost, not matter how much drama it may stir up.  I do not fear drama! I will experience it but I will not let it intimidate me.  It will be controlled drama (is that an oxymoron or what?).

When I was young, I gave my heart to Christ.  Then, I began attending a local church (gathering).  I was messed up.  I had a lot to learn.  The youth had grown up together in Christian homes.  They did not welcome me into their group.  I was too ungodly and there was just too much drama surrounding my life.  It made them uncomfortable.  I did not get discipled.  I did not grow.  I never fit or felt loved.  So, I took my messed up self and went back to the people and things that felt safe.  I went back to old friends and a lifestyle that was very destructive.  It wasn’t until I had totally messed up my life and brought my first child into the world that I began to learn about surrender.

I went back to the “traditional church”.  But even after so many years had passed the same thing was still happening.  I even had family with me this time (by marriage).  I was still seeking love and acceptance but even among family, I was the fifth wheel. I was still pretty messed up. I still had tons of drama in my life.  In their fear and lack of desire to be made uncomfortable, the “good Christians” in the family and in the church shied away. I didn’t meet the required standards to make me acceptable enough to invest in a relationship.  Those who made an attempt to “help” only brought to me the laundry list of why I don’t belong and am not acceptable.  No matter how much I changed, they were always telling me how much I fell short.  That’s what’s so great about Jesus.  I know I fall short. Everyone does, but when we accept Christ we are on equal ground and some people fail to comprehend this.  Even I have.

However, there were those few authentic members of the body of Christ who dared to accept me as I was.  They helped me to see that I was a person of value to God and that I have gifts and a purpose and God has a plan for my life.  It was different people in different settings through the years who helped me to get to the place where I am now. I heard some life changing sermons and sat under many a great pastor and teacher. God blessed me and grew me more and more in spite of my obsession to fit in with the “popular crowd” at church gatherings.

I understand the exodus that is taking place in the traditional “church” setting.  I don’t think it’s  a bad thing at all.  In fact, I think the exodus that is taking place is not an exodus from “church” but an unveiling of the “true church”. It’s a “throwing away of masks”.  These people who do not attend regular services or have a membership of any particular denomination and list of rules and standards, they are some of the closest examples of Jesus Christ I have ever known in a group of people.  They have wisdom because they rely on the Holy Spirit and each other in His name.  They are not out for fame. They don’t rely on big degrees in biblical studies and Theology. They Have the Holy Spirit teaching them Truth like no university is able (although some of them are working on degrees).  Most people don’t even know who these believers are. They are not out to promote themselves or a cause.  They are not out to judge or point fingers. They are not out to change the world or even change lives as a goal. Their goal is to preach the gospel even to the ends of the earth. Their purpose is sharing the message of salvation. They are people who understand empathy. They are emotional but not into emotionalism. They are not out to give a perception. They are real.  They sacrifice like I have never seen the body of Christ do in my lifetime. They are not out to “keep up with the Jones'” or looking to live the “American dream”. They can even be pretty raw at times.  They love unconditionally.  They don’t run from drama for their own comfort and security.  In fact, they get right in the middle of people’s lives and experience the drama with them. They help take on and relieve some of that burden.  They are so bold and courageous. The fruit of the Spirit bursts out of them and Jesus Christ spills over them. This is what the body of Christ in action looks like. This is the church I desire to be involved with.

I don’t think that somebody should judge my level of godliness based on how many times per week I attend services or how many baby showers or parties I attend, or even how many ministries I lead or take part in. I don’t think somebody has the right to determine how mature a believer is based on how much drama they deal with.  In fact, those who walk with God should expect lots of drama. That’s what happens in warfare.  If you have no drama, you are probably avoiding conflict that perhaps needs to be confronted.  I don’t think that I should be striving to be accepted or gain the approval to fit in with my church peers.  Most of all, I don’t have the right to do that to anyone else! We live what we learn.  I don’t want to be that kind of believer anymore. I don’t want to be the one who overwhelms unbelievers and literally chases them right back to their misery!  I don’t want to cause people to run from God in my attempt to tell them that they need Him!  Oh my gosh my head is spinning at how much God has changed my thinking and how I see things!  This very dark veil has been lifted and I am seeing like I have never seen before!  I am not who I was when this  year began.

Church tradition is dying. From where I stand, it needs to.  This is not a bad thing at all! Why are so many people wasting time analyzing this and trying to change it? Why do we want to hold on so tightly to things God asks us to let go of?  Insecurity.  Security is in Christ, not tradition!  

The body of Christ is not dying. If  every believer would just step outside the box and open his eyes, he would see that the church is more alive than it has been in a long time (and rightfully so as the world is getting more evil than ever)! The reason that tradition is dying is because the true church (the body of Christ) is finally rising up from the dead!  Revival is breaking out, believers!  Don’t miss it holding on to tradition. Let go of the past!  Take off your masks!  Tear down the walls!  There are no walls that will hold what Jesus is about to do. If you refuse to tear down the walls, then you will miss everything that is happening on the outside!  Stop holding on to “the way it’s always been done”.  It isn’t working anymore because it’s too controlled by people. The Spirit is no respecter of walls!  You can’t put God in a box!  He will never fit in your box no matter how big it is!  Step outside the box and take part in the body of Christ! There are no denominational barriers here.  The Holy Spirit is One and He alone reveals Truth!  Trust Him!

Remember, it is the unlikely that God has always used to do the greatest things.  Just read your Bible. Don’t take my word for it!  This way He always gets the glory and He alone is worthy!

I am a drama queen because I serve the drama KING and His Story (The Holy Bible) is full of drama. 

Let’s Get Real

I post frequently on transparency.  It is vital for Christians to be real yet I realize more and more every day that being transparent puts a target on my back.  It makes me vulnerable to other’s criticism and judgments, especially those who think that our credibility lies in others perceptions of us.  This is true. But I don’t want others to have the perception that I have it altogether when I don’t.  That, to me is lying.  It’s fake.

I am called to ministry.  I know this.  I have had my doubts but those days are gone.  I just didn’t realize who I was called to minister to and what would be required of me.  I am not out to promote myself, my writings, my conferences, my agenda.  I use those things to accomplish the call but I certainly am not out to make myself famous (wasn’t always that way, but I know better now).  I am out to make His name famous.  I do that by putting my reputation on the line.

I know I will be rejected.  I know I will be mocked. I know I will suffer.  I will not be popular (which is something I wasted most of my life striving for).  But, I do know my biggest fan is God.  He is my cheerleader, my instructor, my guide.  It’s all His stage and He applauds me.  I just find that incomprehensible.  

It is my goal to be real and to say what I believe God wants me to say, regardless of the backlash because there are people out there whose lives will change and they will see God through my transparency.  I have been taken aside more times than I can count and given a list of reasons why I don’t qualify in a “church” setting (church is in quotes because church is not a building or meeting place, it is the body of Christ).  Some of these things were things I needed to hear and they helped me to grow.  Some of them left terrible scars that I still take to the Lord on a regular basis.  I have had to overcome bitterness.  I have battled (and still do) being overly critical because criticism has always played a huge part in my life and shaped a poor image of how I should think of myself.  I battle being negative because I have often been surrounded by negativity.  I ran to religion to escape criticism and judgement only to find it at times even more prominent among the religious.

But then…

I ran to God.  Even religious people, even born again believers like myself, we fail.  We can be cruel. We can be hypocrites.  We are so imperfect (which is why I believe so many feel the need to wear masks – even to hide from themselves).  Only God is perfect. Only God loves perfectly.  He is the Only One who will never fail. He loves us in spite of our failures and He can never love us anymore or any less then he does in this very moment. He loves us perfectly and completely right where we are at any given point in our lives.

Being transparent often leads people to misunderstand your heart and your intentions.  People fear transparency. They fear people who are real because life has taught us that real is unacceptable. But, we have to be real if we are going to reach the imperfect, messed up, lost people who so desperately need to experience real people like themselves.  These  people are looking for hope not condemnation. They have seen enough of that to last a lifetime.  If we never reveal the brokenness, how can we share the power of God’s healing?  How can we share God’s love if we give the impression that a mature believer is one who always has it together?  How can we help a person who is overcome by emotion, criticism, a sense of total worthlessness, judgement,  and drama if we deny these things also exist in our lives?

I do not apologize for being real.  Judge me if you will.  This world is full of fake people trying to make an impression.  I refuse to be one of those people ever again (I was never really good at it anyhow).  I have a people group I am compelled to reach and these people need real.  It’s time to be real.  If this will damage my popularity among my peers, then I will embrace my lofty position because popularity to me is not an achievement, it’s an obstacle that puts the focus on me.

The only thing that matters is doing what God asks of me and He asks me to be real.  So, I embrace the wounds that leave the scars that come with that.  God uses them to make me stronger! They tell such a beautiful story!  “I’m over acting strong when I ain’t even in control” – Mandisa “You’ve Got to Be Real”